High School--the time of your life or not?

I started this post a long time ago, but since it's relative to my Moments in Life them, I dug it back up.

I was watching Glee the other night. Mr. Shue was talking to Coach Beast, asking her to please stay. He said something to the effect of, people like you and me, we had a terrible time in high school and yet we return to that place every day.

Lately, I've been hearing what a horrible place high school is. The story line of the Glee was quite timely and relevant to part of the reason I've been hearing about it--the bullying of openly and not so openly gay kids. It's horrible. There shouldn't be bullying. I just read The Wave by Todd Strasser. It took me about 4 hours no kidding. It's about a high school history teacher teaching his kids about the Nazis. The kids are appalled and asked how people could let that happen. How could they join a movement like that? How could they turn a blind eye to death camps? The teacher was stumped, he said we don't really know. But upon further thought, he did know, it's just very very difficult to verbalize--unless you experience it. So he starts a movement in his senior history class called The Wave. They have a special salute, special symbol, motto, etc. I won't ruin all the details, but once he starts the experiment he realizes that he can't just say, OK no more. The kids have to realize the danger of this movement and stop it.

Bottom line though the kids who liked the movement the most were the ones who weren't popular or were bullied. Think about it. 

The kids. That's the key. We can preach and give experiential programs and read books, but the kids have to stop it. Our job is to give them the tools.  I don't know exactly what those tools are and how you empower the kids to use them.  I am very interested in the recent bullying seminars they have put on at all levels of the Mariemont Schools.  They talk about bullying not so much as stealing lunch money or pushing and shoving.  It's more about exclusion and leaving kids out, maybe a little name calling.  And now they can't get away from it--you didn't get invited to a party, well here it is in full living color--pictures of the people you thought were, you want to be, your friends.  Someone have a sleepover and not invite you, oh look here's a picture of them all having a pillow fight, and here they are having pancakes for breakfast.  It seems to be much harder for girls than it is for boys, or maybe it's that my girl talks about how hard it is and my boy either doesn't care (I hope because he's happy in his own skin) or keeps it inside (which scares the shit out of me).

But I digress (shocker). So apart from the gay bullying which is so serious I can't even address it (and if it went on in my high school, I was blind to it), was high school such a bad place?

I loved high school. It was some of the best years of my life.  I think my sophomore and junior years were the best of the best.  I loved my school, I loved my friends, I loved my boy friend, I loved my teachers.  Sure I cried myself to sleep more than once, sure "the love of my life" broke up with me the summer after sophomore year (oh it was so so sad), sure I didn't win Homecoming Princess or Homecoming Queen (it was an honor just to be nominated, except for the fact that Jody Mersel campaigned against me because she was pissed I got nominated and she didn't), and yes I basically took a total stranger to senior prom because no one asked me (he was cute but behaved rather rudely at the end of the night and had to be sent home).

Some snapshots:

Latin class--I loved Latin Class.  Robin, Beth, Robert, David, Kimberlee and of course Mrs Freeman.  Who else?  May have to get the old year book out and look.

to be continued

Today I got braces

Under the theory that life is lived in moments, here is one.  My teeth have been slowly migrating back to their very sad state of crooked before I had braces.  So for Christmas I asked for Invisalign.  Of course Anthony did not think this a very romantic Christmas present, but when I told him how much they cost he said they would make a fine Christmas present (and birthday and possibly anniversary too).  And yesterday I got them.  Damn, I do not remember braces hurting this much.

I got my original braces the summer before 7th grade.  Dr. Walker was my ortho.  He was about 100 and I think that's about how old the technology was he used on my teeth.  On my teeth.  Did you ever see the Simpsons where Lisa got braces from the discount brace place?  That's what mine looked like, no literally, that's what my braces looked like.  Still my teeth were so bad it was a huge improvement.  First of all I had buck teeth that defined the word (Parker got the same ones but his were at least straight).  One of them was sideways--pretty much literally.  In my 6th grade picture I look like I'm either pretending to be a fish or trying to kiss someone because DeHegh Lille was trying to make me smile and I didn't want to show my teeth and that's the face that is frozen in time.  Secondly, my nickname (my Girl Scout leader gave me (was Chunky Meatball).  The summer before 7th grade was one of transformation for me.  I went to Camp Seafarer for 6 weeks where I grew two inches and lost 10 pounds.  That and the addition of braces and a cute hair cut and actually there were several people who did not recognize me when we went back to school.

So I remember the day I got braces--I don't know the month, I could figure out the year.  It must have been after camp and before we went to the beach.  I do remember putting on a two piece bathing suit for the first time--pretty much ever.  My mother would not let me wear one before that because I was too fat.  We won't go there right now.

That was a truly transformative summer in so many ways.  I can literally go back to that very moment, standing on the deck of the beach cottage in Anne Moss' hand me down bikini and feeling good, really good.  I'm not sure that I actually wore it down to the beach, but that feeling of accomplishment and sort of peace with my body image if I think about it can come back to my mind's eye.

So much for the birth of Anne Hester Old story, maybe tomorrow.  Or maybe someday.......

We do not remember days, we remember moments

As part of my discipleship group, we are making a life map.  I started on my life map but really could not come up a plan, a format, a vision.  I started just writing stuff down which was a good start.  I got all the way to 4th grade.  It was a good start and it made me think about pictures in time, moments.  We really do not remember days, we remember moments.

So then as I was looking at journals on Amazon, I remembered I had this blog that I apparently have neglected for well over a year.  Actually interestingly I've thought about it several times over the last week.  I think this is where I am meant to take this journey.  So I think this is where I will create my life map.

But alas, not tonight, for tonight I must go and read for my class and I have put it off until 10:30 which is really much too late.

I'll start tomorrow.

The birth Anne Hester Old.

Stationery card

Our Moments Christmas Card

Personalize your holiday card this Christmas with Shutterfly.

View the entire collection of cards.

A la recherche du temps perdu

A Remembrance of Things Past is one of my favorite all time books. It's by Marcel Proust. It's quite a read. I'm not sure why it made such an impact on me. I read it my senior year. I had an early class with Walter Fowlie a renoun Proustian authority. I think it was on Friday after Thursday night Theta Chi kegs--and I don't think I ever missed a class (I was late, had wet hair and came directly from the Theta Chi section, but that's a whole other story which I may or may not have told). But I digress, I think the reason that I loved this book so much was that sense memory is something that I cherish. I may not always take time to smell the roses, but when I do, I remember what they smelled like. I remember the feel of the breeze or the warmth of the sun or the rocking of the dock.

So last night I made what our family fondly calls Guacamole Chicken which is really "Cumin Dusted Chicken" a la Becca Worple.

As I dusted the chicken and smelled the cumin, I was transported back to the kitchen on Thallata. I remember being there with Becca, who asked me a Beccaesque question like "oh that was tablespoons?" We are giggling in the kitchen and glance out the window to see our friends lounging on the dock. It's our turn to cook. I hear the boats buzzing by, the waves lapping, and the crack of laughter from below. Shoot, what are we missing?

And I think of cooking on the rocks on the charcoal grill where there was a 50/50 chance there was charcoal, fluid and no broken ankle. I remember the steak with the asian slaw. I remember drinking bloody marys and going on a boat ride. I remember that first beer opened on the boat on the way, the anticipation. Of course I remember standing with a pillow covering my front and nothing in the back, or waving nude to the passing boats in the twilight (now there's a sense memory for someone!). I can smell the living room where we are all squished around the table, drinking wine and laughing until our stomach hurts. A certain person stuffed a certain substance down her pants, someone made out behind the bowling alley and who can forget Hank?

And I wanted to be there. I wanted to be at the grocery store buying our list. Or calculating 3 bottles of wine for me per day times 4 days equals--ha! a case! Or loading the boat. Or looking for snakes. Or talking loudly to scare Phelps the bear out of the way. I wanted to be among friends. Well more than that, a very special group of ladies who may not have been the best of friends to start, but who bonded over sprained ankles, spider bites, secrets revealed, fear of snakes, love of wine, dislike of shrimp, love of shrimp. I will always remember at least 1 of Cosmos top ways to get your guy _______. And laughter. And simplicity.

And I felt happy. I felt the peace I felt lying in the sun on the wooden dock with no cares in the world. Chardonnay at 10 a.m.? Why not, I just had a big ol' breakfast of biscuits and gravy. Then I think I'll jump out of the window into the icy cold water. Or dodge giant underwater boulders for a little ride around the sound. Or kayak for a while. Oh shit, there's the snake.

And I realized, we will probably not ever have that magical experience again. But thanks to that cumin, I went on a little vacation last night as I cooked dinner. And I felt happy.

And I feel happy as I think about it today. Thank you, Becca, for sharing your special place and bringing a rag tag group of ladies together to create some really awesome sense memories.

Forever an optimist

So I'm more than a little sad this morning. But probably not for the reasons that people would think. People know what my core beliefs are, although I rarely talk politics except with people I know agree with me.

I'm really sad for David Pepper. He stuck his neck out, he crossed party lines, he is a thoughtful person who isn't afraid to stand up for what he believes to be right. I truly believe that he lost not because of who he is or what he believes, but because he had a (D) by his name and people here vote blindly for anyone who has an (R) by their name.

I'm also sad for President Obama. He and the people he was elected with, were elected by a thoughtful electorate. People had hope for change. People had hope that congress would work together. President Obama reached out to those "on the other side." They said, "We will come sit down with you and hear what you have to say." Then they literally just did not show up--said they would come to a meeting at the White House and then literally did not show up.

President Obama, Steve Driehaus, and Governor Strickland are not responsible for the things they are being blamed for. For the short sighted, or short memoried, the economic melt-down started under President Bush before President Obama was sworn in. President Obama WORKED WITH the Bush administration to come up with a plan to keep the country from sinking into a depression. President Obama WORKED WITH President Bush. When President Bush took office there was a SURPLUS. When President Bush left office there was a DEFICIT. President Obama is not responsible for that, however, he has done a pretty damn good job of staunching the bleeding.

He's also passed healthcare reform. I do not understand why people are against this. Here's what Anthem told me I get as of January 1:

No lifetime maximum. My current lifetime maximum is $7,000,000. So when I get breast cancer, or if God Forbid, someone in our family became sick, we can't be kicked off our insurance because we've spent too much money.

Adult Dependents. My children can now stay on my health policy through the age of 27. This has so many advantages, I can't even list them all here. But when your kids get to be 19, think about whether you would want to just cut them loose to fend for themselves on healthcare.

No preauthorization for emergency services--especially out-of-network. This makes so much sense it's self-explanatory. When Mollie was a baby, she got sick every time we went out of town. When your baby is sick, do you take them to the doctor or do you call the insurance company to find out if you can please take them to the doctor. I ended up paying for every out of town doctor visit she ever had.

Women no long need a referral from their PCP to go to the gynecologist.

And coming soon--no denial for pre-existing conditions. Did you hear the one about the baby who was denied coverage because his heart defect was a "pre-existing" condition to his birth.

So now my confession. I did not vote for Rob Portman. I'm sure many people are not shocked, but the reason I didn't is not because he has an (R) next to his name. He is a great person, nice neighbor, has a wonderful wife and kids. I was prepared to vote for Rob Portman for the mere reason that I know him as a person and know him to be a thoughtful person. But then I went to his web site and read his positions. Did any of the other voters in TP do this? He clearly stated in his position that he plans to help dismantle health care reform. Look at the above 4 things that come into law on January 1. Why would anyone be against any of those? I plan to send him a congratulatory letter later today and ask him to rethink this position. Since that issue was buried in his position statement, hopefully he will.

I have one more question, which I probably won't ask him, but would like to know. Can Portman now finally take a public stand against the Martin Marietta Limestone Mine? It is part of the reason I'm sad this morning. The guy who did the right thing and stuck his neck out for us, was defeated. The guy who said he couldn't "because it would be about him" aka political, was elected.

Here's why I'm not totally sad. Here's why I still have Hope. If we have a split House and a split Senate, I hope that our government officials will sit down together and try to figure out what common goals we all have and how to work together to get them. All these guys running on "Washington is Broken." Yes because no one will talk to each other they are just interested in drawing lines in the sand. Fix what's broken by working together.

And here's my other hope. I hope that the people newly elected are truly committed to what they ran on, to fixing things that need fixing (like creating jobs) and not doing things like cutting taxes for the very wealthy (which is one reason Bush left us with the deficit that Obama inherited. I won't even mention his ill-gotten war that now no one believes in).

Here's my concern. That people elected will not work for the people, but for themselves and their party. See here's the core reason I'm a Liberal Democrat, because I believe that elected officials should work for the people and not for themselves or their party. I hope that John Boehner (who I believe is one of those people who has worked long and hard for himself) did mean his tearful I will work for you speech.

Because while I think it's completely ridiculous that people blame Obama or Driehaus or Strickland for job loss, the deficit and our current economic condition (see above--all inherited from the Bush administration), I'm hopeful maybe people will work together.

I'm forever the optimist.

Firsts

Remember when your baby first smiled, first ate cereal, first ate peas, first rolled over, first sat up, first pulled up, first word, first walked? I think I have pictures of every single one of those from every angle (well except no one can remember what Mollie's first word was--don't tell her that though--we're going with Parker--that's my story and I'm sticking to it!) Someday they will be at least filed orderly in a box for each child. Right now they are shoved in a variety of boxes in a variety of places.

So a couple of weeks ago, Parker shaved for the first time. I'd been kind of bugging him to get rid of that "milk" mustache he had. So while we were at the beach he said, I want to shave. I thought hmmm, sensitive skin, salt water, probably not a great combo. So we waited till we got home, just. I think we pulled in the driveway, got out of the car and went straight upstairs to the bathroom to find him his first razor. So I ran and got the camera--actually it was still packed in the car, so I got my phone. I step into the bathroom line up and shoot. Parker goes "what are you doing?!?!?!" I said, "it's the first time you are shaving, I'm taking your picture." He said, "Are you crazy?" and shut the door. So this was all I could capture of the first.